Psychic Phridays -2

I promised y’all two PP posts this week to make up for my vacation last week, so we’ll start with a short one about…Psychic Surgery!

Psychic Surgery is the act of physically reaching into a person’s body, (typically the abdomen), pulling out blood-covered “tumors” and other biological looking items and then showing the “incision” area to be completely healed and unharmed. It is supposed to be an alternative to actual surgery because it’s “all-natural” and is done with spiritual or psychic powers, rather than cold, impersonal, ivory tower science. It’s the cure for cancer, aids, demonic possession, arthritis,  diabetes, you name it, psychic surgery can cure it.  All it takes is faith (in god, God, spirit guides, or the powers of the practitioner) and the willingness to have a stranger ram their hands through your stomach, and YOU CAN BE HEALED!!!

This is one of the really ugly ones folks. There are only two types of people who go for this. Those who due to lack of education or critical thinking abilities don’t know any better and those who are so desperate for a cure that they will, quite literally, try anything. So, when there are desperate or ignorant people to be taken advantage of, there will always be some schmuck with a feel-good story and a smile to do the taking.

There are some types of woo-woo in which the practitioner doesn’t realize that they’re fooling themselves as well as their victims. Dowsing, some medium and tarot readers, etc. They happen to be very good at understanding and reading human nature, and their pre-existing belief system leads them to the conclusion that they are the real deal. It doesn’t excuse their lies, but at the very least, they aren’t being conciously malevolent.

On the other hand, there’s tricks like psychic surgery. There is no way to do this and not be 100% sure that you are a lying, scheming son of a bitch. It’s a magic trick and it doesn’t even take much skill. Honestly, I could teach you how to do it, convincingly, in about 10 minutes, 15 if you wanted to perfect it. It’s a scam and a trick that has more to do with stage blood and chicken guts than power and healing.

So a person who has  some horrible, incurable painful cancer gets to the end of their rope. They’ve tried everything they know, traditional medicine, chemo, surgery, prayer, fasting, etc, etc, and they still only have six months to live. Finally they hear about someone like “John of God” who says that in 10 minutes or less they can heal your cancer and restore you to perfect health, without pain or recovery or medication. For a simple donation (in John’s case) or for tens of thousands of dollars (in other cases) you can finally have the healing you want, or at the very least, new hope. So you lay down, the healer says whatever his/her brand of mumbo-jumbo dictates and they “reach” into your body. You feel no pain, but can clearly see blood start to flow from the area where the “surgery” is happening. After some fiddling around, the “surgeon” will remove gristly, meatlike blobs from the wound. Explaining that these are the tumors or bad things that are the “true” cause of your disease, they will be placed to the side, and the “surgeon” will return to the incision site. The will continue until the performer, oops, “surgeon” gets bored, wipes the wound area with a towel and declares you healed. You leave refreshed and rejoicing that you’ve been given a new lease on life! You tell your friends and family that “truly, this person is a miracle worker”. Six months later, you die. Leaving your “surgeon” that much richer, in both money and reputation.

These people are bastards, pure and simple. They are liars and thieves and they profit off of offering false hopes to the neediest people. If you ever wonder why skeptics and atheists get so bitter sometimes, it’s because of things like psychic surgery.

That being said, if you come to my show this Sunday (Dec 2 at 7pm at “The Q” in Worcester) you’ll actually get to see one for yourself. That’s right, if the spirits are in proper alignment and I can get a proper table I’ll be performing a real-life psychic surgery on a lucky volunteer! It’s such an easy trick, even I can do it. That should tell you something. 😉

Hope to see you there!


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Filed under Ethics, Exposure, Paranormal, Pseudoscience, Psychic Phriday

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