HOLY CRAP!!! I’m frakking psychic!

A little less than a year ago I began an experiment. I said “…in this spirit of experimentation with the unknown, I will meditate/pray/dance/concentrate and try to divine 20 events that will occur in the coming year.” I did indeed do that. Now it’s time to check the results.

(To get caught up, please read the original post , for brevity’s sake, I will only quote the salient parts of the original predictions in this post)

My predictions were a mix of a) What I thought likely b) what I thought funny c) what I thought highly unlikely and d) actual “gut” predictions. Let’s see how I did:

1. Britney Spears will do another round of rehab…

Well, it turns out that she did do the rehab, finished up and her career is on the uptake. Unfortunately, unless I’ve missed something, she has not dedicated her career to God. So I’ll take 1/2 on this one.

Score: 0.5

2. There will be a Democrat in the White House.

Direct hit! Not only is there a Democratic president, the building is just lousy with Democrats now! I should get credit for all of them!

Total: 1.5

3. Libertarianism will get a new, respectable public image…

Ron Paul? Sure why not?

Total: 2.5

4. The writer’s strike will end, but neither side will be wholly satisfied…

This had a few predictions, but I nailed the main point. The strike is over for now, but nobody’s happy. In fact, it may have inspired an actor’s strike…stay tuned! Full credit!

Total 3.5

5. Pope Benedict will suffer a serious illness or injury…

Nope, dead wrong. No score.

Total 3.5

6. There will be a major shakeup in the British Royal Family…

Nope, nothing of any signifigance, again, no score.

Total 3.5 (still better than 50%!)

7. I see a major political, possibly terrorist, event occurring at the Olympics…

Awww hell yeah! Russia invading Georgia? Political, you betcha! Terrorist? Depends on your perspective. But I’m taking the point.

Total: 4.5

8. Duke Nukem Forever final release date will be anounced, and delayed again.

My safety prediction. No way that could be wrong. Point!

Total: 5.5

9. The Kindle will outsell the Sony reader…and no one will care


Total 6.5

10. The Wii console will continue to outsell the PS3 and Xbox 360

WIN WIN WIN!!! The Wii continutes to demolish the other consoles.

Total 7.5

11. A new physical video media format will be announced…

Another safety. Take your pick…I’ll take a point.

Total 8.5

12. Pownce will dominate the social networking space.

Nope, they just announced they are closing this week. Twitter is the big winner so far. Follow me at . 0 Points.

Total 8.5

13. David Blaine will announce his newest endurance stunt…

He announced and performed his hanging upside down stunt. A point? Yes please!

Total: 9.5

14. The United States will get involved in a military action in a region…

Nothing new, but I’ll take credit for our continued involvement in any number of countries. 1 depressing point.

Total: 10.5

15. The cultural war in the US will come to a head when a public figure points out that it’s okay for atheists, muslims and mormons to run for political office…

Obama for his views? Romney for his faith? Sure, I’ll have another point over here, thanx!

Total: 11.5

16. A video of a cat doing something cute and/or funny will “go viral”

Another Safety, and a win. Doubt me? I have two words: Spaghetti Cat

Score: 12.5

17. A media company will be found guilty of posting fake-amateur video…

Cellphones causing popcorn to pop? Thank you to Cardo for doing even more to make people panic for no reason… 

Score: 13.5

18. A major political player in the US will get impeached or censured for his/her actions in the last administration..

Still waiting on that, but there’s been a lot of talk. (Cheney, don’t get too comfy) I’ll take a half point.

Score: 14

19. Disney will announce the development of a new theme park somewhere in the Western Hemisphere.

Dead on big win!!! Check out Disney’s new plans for a Hawaiian resort

Score: 15

20. Things That Never Happened (https://dezrah.wordpress.com) will become the single most important and influential blog in the world…

Well, that was a no brainer.

Final score: 16

So, out of a possible 20 points, I got 16! for an 80% victory! Even if you take out my fairly conservative fudging, I’m still wayyyy above 50%. Of course you know what that means, don’t you?

I’M FREAKING PSYCHIC!!! Larry, Oprah, I’m waiting for my phone calls! Man, if this is all there is to being psychic, then the only thing holding me back from fame and fortune is my respect for humanity and general decency…

Screw that, I want to make me some money! Coming soon: Personal psychic readings, mediumship and my new set of predictions for 2009! Now with 20% more B.S.!

Happy New Year!



Filed under Exposure, Predictions 2008, prophecy, Pseudoscience, Psychics

6 responses to “HOLY CRAP!!! I’m frakking psychic!

  1. I have to question a point. Russia’s invasion of Georgia had what to do with the Olympics again?

    • Well, it started during the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, and from all appearances, Putin was actually running the show from the stands.

      So in the spirit of my psychic bretheren, I’ll take the point!

  2. shaun

    just saying, but quite a few of these things have to do with common sense, no?
    doesn’t exactly point to a psychic nature, but rather a smart intuitiveness and reasoning?

    • Can you give me any proof that what a “psychic” does is any different? Common sense mixed with wild guesses give guaranteed hits with an occasional “Hail Mary” big win. If I said that China will invade Australia next year, and they do, I’m frakking psychic. If they don’t, then I have 19 other predictions that prove I have a “gift”, but like all humans, I’m fallible.

      People remember the hits and forget the misses. If they want to believe I can tell the future, they will search out and remember evidence that proves it, and ignore or forget evidence to the contrary. It’s human nature and paranormal psych 101.

  3. shaun

    okay. i get it now. makes a lot of sense. 🙂

  4. David

    This is good. You do all the twisting and spinning a real psychic would. “The cultural war in the US will come to a head when a public figure points out that it’s okay for atheists, muslims and mormons to run for political office…” You hit the predictable one, the Mormons via Romney, and count it as a win.

    “Libertarianism will get a new, respectable public image, [and finally seem to be a viable alternative political party – omitted].” I dunno if Ron Paul counts as a new, respectable public image, in fact a prominent pundit wrote that the financial crisis marked the end of libertarianism as a respectable philosophy.

    “A media company will be found guilty of posting fake-amateur video on YouTube [in order to create buzz for a brilliant new talent that ‘came from nowhere – omitted].'” Fake cell phone popcorn cancer doesn’t win.

    Your Olympics prediction actually should get a half-point, even though you predicted terrorist and you got an invasion. I seem to remember a lot of hoopla surrounding the young Georgian and Russian athletes competing against one another, and that sort of matches the end of the original prediction.

    Anyway, great exercise, good impersonation.

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