Speech! Speech!

In the grand tradition of homework as blog post, I offer you this. It’s the 1st draft of a speech I’m planning on giving to my “Effective Public Speaking” Class. Enjoy! (or not)

Every year it seems that some pundit is making headlines by coming out against the “War on Christmas” that’s being waged by the liberals in the government, the ACLU and the most hated of groups, the atheists. We hear them tell stories of the Ten Commandments being forcibly removed from public spaces by god hating liberals and anti-religious zealots. We hear that Christians are under assault from the mainstream liberal agenda and that the “separation of church and state” was never intended to be used this way by our God-fearing founding fathers. The “separation of church and state” was never included in the Constitution, Bill of Rights, declaration of independence or any of the founding documents of our nation. In fact, Thomas Jefferson coined the phrase in a personal letter to the Baptists of Danbury CT, it was never written into any law.

We’re in a crisis, a battle for the very soul of our nation, and the anti-Christian forces are winning the war. If the cable news anchors are to be believed, the horrors of hearing “Happy Holidays” are only the first step down the slippery slope of secularism.

The vast majority of Americans are religious, that can’t be denied. We’re Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist and Hindu. There aren’t many agreements between those groups to be sure, indeed, there are radical differences that cannot be reconciled, so we clearly can’t create a set of laws that will address all religions, and we don’t have to; since we’re a democracy, shouldn’t it be fair that the majority of voters get to set the standard of belief in the country? The vast majority of us are Christian, so we should be a Christian nation, letting our Christian beliefs inform our policies and practices!

Before I finish that thought, there is one small detail we need to go over. What kind of Christian legislation should we push? We’re Catholic, Methodist, Episcopal, Baptist, Pentecostal, Evangelical, Lutheran, Adventist, Mormon, Jehovah’s Witness, Presbyterian, Christian Scientist, Mennonite and Nazarene. All of these denominations have differences in doctrine and practice that at best caused their adherents to sever ties with their parent churches, and at worst have led to death, torture and atrocities on a scale almost unimaginable today.

Religious differences are unlike any other type of belief. There is no arguing with a faith-based position. If you don’t think I can juggle, there’s and easy way for me to prove it. If you think that a single-payer health care system is the best use of our resources, we can use logic, economic studies and small-scale experiments to test the validity and wisdom of that course of action. If I think gravity is the result of a curvature of space-time, there are experiments we can run to test that theory.

On the other hand, If you think that homosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to marry because your holy texts say so, there is no argument I can make to persuade you out of it, no experiment result that you’ll accept. For many, the old adage of “God said it, I believe it, that settles it.” still rings true. For all of its benefits, religion is a conversation ender, a consensus killer.

So where does that leave our Christian nation? Cursed by our rock-solid faith to divisive discourse? No, the founding fathers discovered a new way, a noble experiment, tried for the first time in history. In our constitution, they created a list of rights that were granted to all citizens of this country, rights that are inviolate, sacrosanct and central to the core of our civilization. Recognizing both the importance of religion, and its potential to undermine and open society, the very first sentence of the very first Amendment of the Constitution, the first right mentioned in the bill of rights, reads as follows: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

They understood something we have forgotten. The bloody revolutions and usurpations of Catholic Kings vs. Protestant Princes were fresh in their memories. They came from a culture that was shaped by the violence, enmity and oppression born of religious zealotry tied to political power. At worst, if I came out to you right now and said I was an Atheist, I could expect some of you to distrust me, and according the University of Minnesota’s recent research, I could give up any hope of a political career. As unfair as this is, it is a testament to the success of our grand experiment. In the days before our secular society, and even today in countries such as Saudi Arabia and Iran, I would be put to death simply for being an Apostate and leaving the faith of my fathers for another faith, being an Atheist would simply be unthinkable.

So they created a system where the government would have no powers to make any religious law, and more importantly, would not prohibit anyone from practicing any religion. This is the part of the 1^st amendment that so many people gloss over. The “establishment clause” is the ultimate live and let live statement. It is not an indictment of religion, or a ban. It is a protection, a guarantee that no matter who is in charge, no matter what religious group has the majority, NO ONE has the right to prevent you from believing what you want and worshipping how you will. For those few of us with no religious beliefs, or whose beliefs are in the minority, it gives us safe harbor and refuge from the potential storms of religious intolerance. For the rest, it gives the right to practice as they see fit, with no fear of other religious groups crying “heretic” or worse, bringing up charges of blasphemy.

The protection offered by the first amendment goes both ways. You do not have to submit to the religious beliefs of others, but in turn, you have no right to impose your doctrines on them. The fairest way to insure this is the establishment of a “Wall of separation between church and state”. At this point you’re saying, wait, Scott, didn’t you just say that Jefferson wrote that in a letter? That it was never made into law? Wasn’t the country founded by Christians anyways? Don’t we have a history and a culture of being Christian regardless of the specific language of the Constitution? All of that is true, but before I end let me share three more thoughts with you:

One: Jefferson was never able to get the “separation” language into law, but he fully intended the Danbury letter to be public and more importantly, what we would now call a “position paper”. Here’s the full text of the “separation” paragraph: “Believing that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their Legislature should “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” thus building a wall of separation between Church and State

Two: To those who are still insistent that our founders intended this to be a Christian nation, I’ll offer this piece of evidence: One of the first acts of congress was a trade treaty, the “Treaty of Tripoli”. We don’t have time for details, but Article 11 is germane to the discussion: “As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion,—as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen,—and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.”

Three: Search the entire constitution, as long as you want and you will not find the words Christian, God, and/or Jesus. They are simply not part of our most important document.

Taking all of that into account, I think one of the greatest tragedies of our modern political world is that those who should be the most arduous defenders of the protections offered by the 1^st amendment are those who argue most vociferously against it.

The first amendment and the secular society that it spawned are not the enemy of religion, they are the strongest protection and defense we have for our right to practice our faith or to live without it.

Separation is not negation.

Thank you.

250 things about me.

I’ve gotten the same “tag” that most of you have gotten. The “tag” asking you to write 25 random things about yourself. A list of 25 things is a cute little excercise, but not truly narcissistic enough for someone like me. Don’t believe it? I’m going to prove my self-absorption by posting 250 rambling, semi-coherent things about myself.

Help me create the Facebook meme to end all Facebook memes. I’m throwing down the blogger gauntlet. Who among you dare pick it up? The rules for this challenge are the same as before:

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 250 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

Without any further ado, 250 rambling things about me:

1. I’m right-handed

2. I can do a flawless Charlier cut in my left hand.

3. If I try it with my right, it’s clumsy, and painful to watch.

4. I really enjoy performing magic.

5. I know that practice is the secret to mastery.

6. I still avoid practice.

7. I’m married

8. As of this May, I will have been married for 10 years.

9. I am still astonished that another human being has enjoyed my company for that long.

10. I have a daughter, Zoe.

11. More responsible people have not yet taken her from me.

12. I have a son, Orion

13. I knew it was an unusual choice, but I never imagined that so many people would not know how to pronounce it.

14. For most of my life, I swore that I’d never marry, and I’d never have children.

15. I’m not very good at keeping my word.

16. I’m not regretful about going back on #14

17. Some of my favorite people don’t realize they’re my favorite people.

18. I don’t suffer redundancy well.

19. I hate effort duplication.

20. I despise doing the same things over and over again.

21. I don’t mind betraying my values for a cheap joke.

22. As far as I know, I’m the only Scott Dezrah Blinn in existence.

23. There are many “Scott” x “Blinn”s

24. Most of them seem to be more successful in their fields than I am.

25. I used to be uncomfortable with my middle name, now it’s practically my entire online identity.

26. One of my favorite lines from the band Cake is: “Excess ain’t rebellion.”

27. This should be the centerpiece of any anti-drug campaign aimed at kids.

28. On of my favorite forms of humor is taking a premise, repeating or amplifying it, continuing on into confusion, annoyance, and pushing on and on until it’s funny again. Ex. Family Guy ” ssssssss…ahhhhhhh” or Monty Python Tourist sketch.

29. When I did this same exercise 4 years ago, I actually learned some things about myself.

30. Even though this seems like the most narcissistic possible activity, I couldn’t possibly care less if you read it.

31. I usually dress in funny t-shirts or loud Hawaiian shirts.

32. This is not shtick, it’s just what I like .

33. The only time I’m uncomfortable with my look is when I’m at a tourist destination. This speaks of a character flaw.

34. I’m terrified that either of my kids will want to play baseball.

35. I’m not anti-sport but a) I suck at every part of baseball, and I despise watching little league games.

36. No, it won’t be different when it’s my own child in the game.

37. I now work in the fab at Intel. Someone thought it would be a good idea to put me in control of multiple $15million dollar machines that could kill me and everyone around me 6 different ways.

38. I am constantly astonished by the work environment here. It’s one of the few places I’ve worked where “constant improvement” is and actual value, not just a buzzword.

39. I was a bartender, all-in-all, that was a mistake.

40. I liked my customers, I liked serving them food and entertaining them with magic.

41. I hated the stupid power play/responsibility issues that come with serving alcohol.

42. I was once an evangelical Christian.

43. Now…not so much.

44. I’m more ashamed of beliefs I held as a Christian than some of the “sins” I committed during the same period.

45. Many Christians believe that magic is evil, dangerous, and a threat to the faith.

46. I agree. Once you’ve spent your time wrestling with truth, lies and how to make people believe what you want them to, you can’t help but take a good, hard look at religion.

47. I would love to see some research on the confluence of apostasy, magic, skepticism and paranormal belief.

48. I’m 31 years old, and I’ve still never left the North American continent. I think this is one of my biggest failings as a human.

49. I’m comfortable with Windows and Linux, and I find Macs cute, and perfect for people who can’t handle a real computer.

50. I don’t mind throwing flame-bait into my posts.

51. I’m great at coming up with new ideas and visualizing possibilities, but I am absolutely worthless when it comes to execution.

52. My favorite magicians in no particular order: Max maven, Derren Brown, Penn and Teller, Mac King, The Amazing Jonathan, Cyril Takayama, Lance Burton and Brian Brushwood

53. I started high school at Bartlett High in Webster, MA and ended it at Oxford High School in Oxford, MA

54. I was senior class president.

55. It’s astonishing how rarely it comes up in conversation now.

56. I’ve been surviving on Hot Pockets for lunch.

57. I don’t see what the big deal is. They’re edible, they’re convenient, and they’re filling.

58. I’ve started college a few times, but it’s never stuck. I would like to remedy that but money and time are two things I never have enough of .

59. After taking classes with single moms who work 2-3 jobs, I know exactly how much bullshit #58 contains.

60. The immigration debate makes me crazy. Want to be friends with me?

Don’t start that conversation unless you’ve worked in the foodservice, agricultural or construction industries. Until you’ve done the shittiest work on earth next to these guys, you’re talking out of your ass.

61. I’m not a big fan of golf. I’m squarely in the “good walk spoiled” camp.

62. However, I’ll play disc golf anytime the opportunity presents itself.

63. If growing up means making choices, then I’m Peter Frakking Pan.

64. I’ve never owned a rabbit, but I have had 2 iguanas, 5 mice, 2 hermit crabs, numerous fish,1 dog, 1 cat, 2 newts, 1 turtle and 1-2 doves.

65. My cat, Rasputin, is dead. He’s lived with me longer than anyone other than my immediate family. He was more of a roommate than a pet, and he’ll be sorely missed.

66. After years of work getting rid of my default self-importance arrogance and egotism, I find myself in the position of having to regain a bit of it in order to have a successful career.

67. I am not the lyrical Jesse James, and I’ve come to accept that.

68. My favorite video games in no particular order: Half-Life 1+2, StarCraft, Super Mario Bros. 2, Fable, Halo 2, The bulk of the Zelda and Metroid series.

69. As time goes on, I’m less and less satisfied being a consumer of culture, and more and more interested in becoming a creator of culture.

70. Yes, I really am going to go through with this.

71. My hair is skipping the gray stage, and going straight to white ,with a quick stop at salt-and-pepper.

72. This does not bother me.

73. One of the best things about losing my religion is the fact that I no longer have to rationalize or self-censor my tastes. If I think that http://www.tentaclegrape.com is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, that’s okay!

74. I speak geek, but I think I may be a poser.

75. My favorite monosyllabic musicians: Cake, Beck, Bjork

76. I drive my wife’s old Toyota Echo, and I was damned excited to get it.

77. I think the democratization of content will be the most significant change to come out of the internet and social media revolution.

78. I remember what “Talking to Chuck” means and I’ve done it while talking to Chuck.

79. I have eaten the Donut Burger, and I recommend the experience to anyone. If you come to Worcester, look me up, and I will take you out and treat you to one.

80. I have been dissatisfied with my restaurant experiences since I realized that “casual dining” chains are just fast food joints with longer waits.

81. I’m decent at archery, but woefully out of practice.

82. One of my favorite back-handed compliments came from an Olympic level fencer after my first bout with him. “He’s fast! He keeps making mistakes, but he makes up for it with speed!” Speedy incompetence, it’s my freaking trademark. 😉

83. I used to fence, I loved it, I miss it.

84. I used to rock climb, I loved it, I miss it.

85. I used to run, I loved it, I miss it.

86. I think I’ll stop that particular run of facts, it’s a bit to depressing and self-incriminating.

87. Overall, I’m pretty satisfied with my high school years. Jr High was as angst-ridden as you can imagine, but my senior year was decent.

88. However I would love to take another crack at my 20’s and college.

I think I could do better if I applied myself.

89. btw, If there is a theme for my life it is: “He could do better if he just applied himself” nothing will shut me down faster than people telling me I can do something.

90. I’m a magician, but my French drop literally can’t fool a 3-year-old. I’ve asked for lessons from local magicians, but they keep saying “you don’t need me, you’re already doing great”.

91. I’m a self-taught magician with huge, basic gaps in my skills and knowledge. It’s like when you learn to play the guitar from tabs alone. You can rock the songs you know, but you’re useless when it comes to creativity and improvisation.

92. I’m pretty good with a hammer, and I can mud sheetrock with the best of them.

93. I liked driving for Guardian and would have continued doing it if the pay was right and my job title wasn’t ISO auditor and Quality Control Rep.

94. There is no bad time for “A Message to you Rudy” by The Specials.

It is a perfect song.

95. I spent a summer in Newman, Illinois, detasseling corn. Maybe I’ll tell you about it some day.

96. I love summer camp. I loved going when I was a kid, and I loved working there even more. When done right, it is one of life’s greatest joys. This is not an exaggeration. If you’ve experienced it, you know.

97. Someday, I think I’ll write a realistic screenplay or short story about life at camp. No one’s gotten it right yet.

98. If my house was on fire, and my family was safe, I’d probably try to rescue our books next.

99. I watch way more TV than I really want too, and read a lot less than I used to. What the hell is wrong with me?

100. The first 100 went pretty quickly, but I fear the wall’s a-comin’.

101. Out of all the social media tools I use (Facebook, LinkedIn, etc) the most useful and interesting connections have come from Twitter.

Follow me at http://www.twitter.com/dezrah and you’ll figure it out.

102. I have/had scoliosis. I just missed going through high school with a back brace. It’s fine now, just leads to back aches now and then. I’m not looking forward to my later years though…

103. Some of the most life-changing books for me: “Flim-Flam” by James Randi, “Godel, Escher, Bach…” by Douglas Hofsteader, “Snow Crash” by Neal Stephenson, “The Bible” by a cast of 1,000’s, “How to Play With Your Food” by Penn and Teller and “How the Mind Works” by Steven Pinker.

104. My first and last name are fairly unusual in that they are both 5 letters long, monosyllabic and are made of two pairs of consonants separated by single vowels with the last consonant pair being on letter repeated. This is not significant.

105. I once met Teller, and I told him that I had done a psychic surgery at a Christian Summer Camp for a large gathering of youth groups. He laughed and said “That’s great!” I don’t know if he would have been less impressed if I had told him I did it while I was employed by said camp.

106. I also asked him, “How do I know if this is what I want to do?”

his advice? “Keep doing it.” He was right.

107. I have been a bartender at two different restaurants.

108. I have been a forklift driver at a lumberyard.

109. I’ve worked in a glass tempering/fab plant. I was in production, QC, ISO and delivery.

110. I’ve worked at Staples as a Copy Center Clerk, Business Machines Associate, Merchandiser, tech center assistant and receiving assistant.

111. I’ve sold chocolate professionally at Lindt Chocolatiers

112. I’ve been a line cook at 2 restaurants

113. I’ve worked at Prints Plus and framed over 1,000 pictures.

114. I’ve worked at McDonald’s

115. I’ve worked as a camp counselor

116. I’ve worked as a rock-climbing instructor

117. I’ve worked as an archery instructor

118. I’ve worked as a canoe instructor

119. I’ve worked as a Low Ropes and group initiative/teambuilding facilitator

120. I’ve worked as a Summer Camp Program Director

121. I’ve served in the lay ministry

122. I’ve worked as a Maintenance Supervisor

123. I’ve been a professional magician.

124. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.

125. Uncanny X-Men #271 was the first comic I ever bought. Jim Lee’s Psylocke was life-changing in many, many ways for 13-yr-old Scott Dezrah Blinn.

126. I’ve never owned a firearm, other than a bb gun.

127. I’ve lived in Massachusetts for 26 years of my 31 years of life, but Maine feels like home.

128. Disneyworld is a close second, but I don’t think they’d let me live there.

129. Amanda and her family ruined me for life when she brought me to Disneyworld. I was perfectly happy being a cynical curmudgeon, and they had to go re-introduce me to magic and wonder.

130. My favorite Disney park is Epcot Center. Not for the rides or exhibits, but for the landscape and building design. It is beautiful, tranquil and restful. Well done!

131. My only complaint about Disneyworld isn’t particularly original.

I love thrill rides, and that’s where Disney traditionally fails.

They’re getting better though.

132. I’d love to do more with my blog, but as we’ve hinted at before, I suck at the whole “self-discipline” thing.

133. However, I’m pathologically good at the whole “self-control”

thing. I’ve taken being reserved and keeping my emotions in check to sociopathically unhealthy levels.

134. I’ve spent so much time trying to be who I think I should be, I’ve lost track of who I want to be. But it’s getting better.

135. My favorite foods at the 99 are (in no particular order): Turkey Tips, the All-Star Steakburger, Fish Tacos, Potato Skins, and Cedar Plank Salmon. You can’t go wrong with any of those.

136. The double whammy of Simon Stevenson and Lindt Chocolate ruined me for Hershey’s, Russell Stover, Whitman’s, etc. Once you’ve actually had decent chocolate, you can never go back.

137. I did not learn everything I really needed to know in kindergarten. I can’t even remember kindergarten.

138. It always amazes me when people (esp. Amanda) can clearly remember things that happened in Pre-school, kindergarten, 1st grade, etc. It’s a complete blank to me.

139. I have to thank Chuck, Teall and Wyclef Jean for making me realize that I had no problem with rap and hip-hop. I just hadn’t heard artists that I liked yet.

140. Since High School, I’ve lived in at least 11 different buildings.

One would think that I would have less clutter.

141. I used to enjoy riding to the Ocean Park post office to pick up my mail.

142. I’d love to move back to OP, but there’s no way I could afford to live that close to the ocean, and that’s really the reason to live up there.

143. After 9 summers at Oceanwood, I would love to spend a whole summer in Ocean Park, it seems like a nice little community.

144. I’ve only ever completely lost my composure (bawled my eyes out) after childhood in front of a few people. My father, my wife, a friend, and a stranger. I’m eternally grateful to all of you for staying with me and letting me vent.

145. I pride myself on being fairly professional in the workplace.

Unfortunately, many of my co-workers in service industries misinterpreted that as hostility. When I’m working with customers/guests, I’m there for the job, not to talk about your date last night. Sorry.

146. Want to stop being my friend? Laughingly tell me a drunk-driving story. See if I ever call you up again.

147. No matter what part of the political/religious spectrum you fall on, if you can laugh at Python, we’ll be okay.

148. I spent a good chunk of my life being taught that most of the things I liked were sinful and evil, and therefore I had to hide them or lie about them. This may explain a few things…

149. I know I’m supposed to mock Britney Spears and be all snarky, but I have to say, I’m kind of on Chris Crocker’s side, just with less drama and mascara.

150. Can I just say that a decent pizza from a locally owned pizza place is one of life’s great pleasures?

151. Same thing goes for great Chinese take out, there is nothing like the smell of a big brown paper bag full of Lo Mein, Crab Rangoon and Boneless Spare ribs.

152. I was a decent fencer, but my lunge never had the explosive “SNAP!” it needed to be successful. That’s kind of important.

153. I know it’s one of the central modes of communication for my generation, but I’m starting to get tired of constant pop culture references.

154. It’s not that I don’t love pop culture; It’s just that I’m starting to miss original conversation.

155. I love juggling, but not on stage. It’s just plain fun.

156. I think juggling should be a mandatory part of physical education. It’s an incredible confidence builder. No one thinks they can do it, and it’s very easy to learn.

157. My friend Nate and I once drove cross-country from MA to CA. I highly recommend it.

158. We got lost during the evacuation of a chemical plant explosion. I don’t recommend that.

159. We had no stereotypical “Y’all aren’t from round here? Are ya?” confrontations. The closest was a diner in TN. We walked in, and the entire place fell silent. Hooray for ponytails.

160. I know weigh more than I ever have. I’m starting to do something about that.

161. It took me 5 tries to get my driver’s license.

162. I’ll take the blame for 3 of those attempts.

163. I’ve been shocked at least a dozen times. Every single time has been due to my lack of care.

164. Apparently, when it comes to avoiding pain, I’m a slow learner.

165. In other areas, I’m an excellent learner. I’ve never come across and skill or job that I couldn’t gain some level of competence in.

166. My weakness is in sticking to something once I’ve gained some level of competence.

167. I speak Jr. High level Spanish. I’ve never taken any other foreign language classes.

168. I’ve programmed in Basic, Pascal and C++.

169. I’m not very good at writing original code, but I really enjoy debugging.

170. I’ve often wanted to get back into programming, but I really don’t have the time to become proficient in it anymore.

171. I have the typical hacker/coder work ethic. Stretches of slacking off, punctuated by focused, frenetic, marathon periods of productivity.

172. I don’t think of myself as a leader, but I often find myself in that role.

173. That is: I don’t want to take charge, but I can’t stand it when no one else does.

174. I can count to 32 on one hand in binary.

175. I graduated high school in 1995

176. I was born in 1977, the year Star Wars was born, and the year Elvis died. It was a Gretty important year for pop culture.

177. I’m too young for Generation X and too old for Generation Y.

178. This is the second time I’ve attempted something like this.

179. Originally my plan was to write 2500 things, but that’s not going to happen.

180. I used to walk EVERYWHERE. I once walked from my home in Oxford, to my classes at Worcester State just because I wanted to.

181. I’ve been pulled over 4 times, twice while I was in a car.

182. I’ve never been in an accident, and, (on the record), I’ve never gotten a ticket.

183. One of my few definite goals in life is to give my children a better life than I have.

184. The older I get, the harder that seems to be.

185. While at a driving range, I once hit a golf ball behind me, into the parking lot. It was not on the backswing.

186. As a general rule, I dislike team sports. Notable exceptions: Ultimate Frisbee, Volleyball and Capture the Flag.

187. If you have never played “Ga-Ga”, “Gaa-Gaa”, “Gau-Gau” or any of its regional variants, you have not truly lived.

188. I feel the same way about rock-climbing as I do about juggling. It should be a mandatory part of physical education, if only for the sense of accomplishment it can provide.

189. I strongly agree that low-self esteem is responsible for many people’s problems.

190. I strongly disagree that praise should be given out regardless of behavior or achievement. If self-esteem is not actually earned, it can turn to narcissism or worse, be discovered as valueless later in life.

191. Even I’m beginning to find this boring.

192. I’ve never liked babies, still don’t.

193. I’ve always loved kids, still do.

194. I still have Legos.

195. I never got into “Magic: The Gathering” and I’ve tried quite a few times.

196. “Settlers of Catan” is my favorite board game of all time. The hardest part is finding someone to play with.

197. My love in podcasts has overtaken my love for music.

198. This really bothers me when I think about it.

199. I’m much more productive when I listen to music while working.

200. It’s because I’m too easily distracted if my mind isn’t otherwise occupied.

201. I don’t think that #200 scans right but I can’t figure out a better way to say it.

202. I hate cars. More specifically, I hate having to own one and pay for and maintain it.

203. I don’t think I’m a motorcycle guy, but I dream of owning a decent motor-scooter.

204. If you meet me in public, say “Hi!” I’m much friendlier than I appear.

205. I really like meeting new people. It’s just that my default state is “quiet”.

206. I identify with Dante from “Clerks” entirely too much.

207. I have never run a marathon, but I have done a few 5k’s.

208. I like sports, but I’m not competitive at all. I couldn’t care less about the score.

209. If I were to join any branch of the military, it’d probably be the Navy. I’m a big fan of a) the ocean and b) having a roof over my head.

210. One of the coolest experiences of my life was watching the Leonids while lying on the beach at OOB. Light pollution killed most of the show, but what was there was amazing.

211. I’ve forgotten more about astronomy than most Americans ever learned. This is a statement of a) how bad my memory is and b) how bad Science education in this country.

212. I know they’re in the list of acceptable targets now, but honestly, in my experience, there is no sub-culture that is friendly or more accepting than Goths.

213. Similarly, in my experience, professional magicians are amazingly tolerant and friendly to both amateurs and non-magicians.

214. Sadly, I’ve found that there is no group less accepting, less tolerant, and more catty than amateur magicians.

215. I tend to get involved in online discussions out of optimism and a thirst for community.

216. I tend to leave because of my disillusionment and disgust at the way people treat each other when they think they’re anonymous.

217. I’ve walked less than 1/10 of 1% of the Appalachian Trail, and even that kicked my ass.

218. My brother walked the whole thing and I couldn’t be prouder.

219. One of my biggest regrets about leaving the faith is the loss of friends and community.

220. One of the best things about leaving the faith is finding out who my real friends are.

221. I prefer writing with fountain pens, but I accept the limitations of the technology and end up using ballpoints.

222. Who am I kidding? I type everything. My handwriting is illegible to anyone but myself and a small group of specialists.

223. I’m a much better at driving a forklift than you would assume by looking at me.

224. I can feel my brain atrophying. (Evidence: I had to look up the spelling of “atrophying”

225. DIY projects I’d like to build: bed of nails, Tesla coil, trebuchet, climbing wall.

226. I’ve only been in 2 fights, but I got beat up a lot. Pacifism and jr. high do not mix well.

227. I’m not as smart as some people think I am and I’m not as dumb as some other people think I am.

228. I used to be well-read and perceptive, but I’ve become lazy and dense.

229. I’ve never done drugs. Ever. I’ve only tried alcohol 3 times, each time, only a taste: Bud Light, Guinness and Blackstone Merlot. I hated all of it.

230. Apparently, this makes me less of a person.

231. My liberal friends think I’m conservative, and my conservative friends think I’m liberal. They’re both wrong.

232. I don’t know my mother. This used to not bug me. I never used to think about it, but now it seems to come up a lot. She just friended me on Facebook. I don’t know how to deal with this.

233. My first instinct in any difficult situation is to avoid conflict and trouble, usually by lying. I’m an excellent liar.

234. Alton Brown is my culinary hero and I reference his show WAAAYYYY too much.

235. Whenever I sit down to write anything of length, I have a cup of tea. My favorite teas in no real order Green (gunpowder), Chai, oolong, earl grey.

236. The NSA has a file on me. Seriously. I know what it says and I won’t tell you. Makes you curious, doesn’t it?

237. I love the circus. I think I might have missed my calling.

238. I could have skipped 7th and maybe even 8th grade, but I was afraid of getting the $#!t kicked out of me by the upper classmen who already threatened me on a daily basis.

239. I have a hole in my brain where poetry is supposed to fit. I just don’t get it. It’s getting better though. I can get behind slam poetry.

240. I don’t have many friends that I see on a regular basis. This is mostly my fault.

241. Half of my senior class at OHS thought I was gay. I’m not.

242. If any of those last few sound familiar, it’s because I lifted them from my old list. They’re still valid.

243. Current favorite TV Shows: Battlestar Galactica, Robot Chicken, Future Weapons, The Venture Bros., American Dad, Family Guy, Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs. Mike Rowe is dreamy.

244. I don’t listen to commercial radio, at all. 9 times out of 10, I have to ask my wife who these people on TV are. I find new music from social media recommendations.

245. I have an idea. It’s one that should work, will free me up financially, and provide a lot more job satisfaction than what I’m doing now. But I need start-up money, and I have no idea how to get it.

246. The same nurse that told me I weighed more than I ever had in my life also demoted me from 5’ 11” to 5’ 10.5”. I don’t think that was necessary.

247. I used to say that the only reason I hadn’t become an assassin or thief was that I was a Christian. It turns out that I was wrong. I’m actually a pretty good guy own my own.

248. I honestly think my life would be significantly poorer without the Internet.

249. Even though I may sound whiny and angsty every in this list, I have to say, all in all, I’m pretty damn happy. I’ve got a beautiful family, a wife that’s stuck by me through everything and a lot to look forward to.

250. I would be eternally grateful if someone could explain to me why I give up or at least lose interest in things as soon as I gain competence in them. In a similar vein, 1) I have no real ambition or passion. 2) I’d like to change that.

If you read this entire thing, I applaud your tenacity if not your judgement. If you cheated and skipped to the end, I guess you’ll never know what happened on that magical night in Dallas.

In all seriousness, I found this to be a surprisingly effective excercise in self-awareness. You’ve really got to start digging to hit the 250 mark. Even if you never post it, it’s interesting to see where it takes you. Thanks for reading this, thank you even more for trying it, and thanks most of all for passing it on!

The Discourse Part 2

Okay boys and girls, this will be a long one. After wrestling with format issues for a couple of days, I’ve decided to publish most of what Boanerges316 has been saying to me. So I will publish sections from his e-mails and comment on them. I’m not convinced that this is the best format for a discussion like this, so I’ll only continue with it if you wish me to. Both of us agreed that some information on his background would be useful, so here we go:

I am a 50+ year old male, doctor (of medicine), and have been a born again believer since the late 1970’s. I have attended numerous churches (Presbyterian, Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, Episcopal, Pentecostal) and DO understand why many people have not only left the church but been DRIVEN from it. We have much to learn and change as the majority of churches and their members HAVE “left their first Love”, as charged by Jesus in the first chapters of Revelation.

Now to the fun stuff.

I was saddened to see that you have a history in the ministry but left it. Again, I can understand such things but my heart hurts when I hear these things.And, I just HAVE to say right here that you must know what the Scripture says about the fate of individuals who know/knew God but turned from Him, right? I’m sure that you do and we don’t have to discuss it further if you don’t want to. But I just had to mention it. Of course, you also know that it’s not that it is too late to reconcile that. Perhaps that is why you are staying open-minded, being a “strong agnostic”.

The major problem for me in all arguments about religion is the constant referencing to the Bible to make points or back up claims. My longtime stance has been that the Bible is a work of man. All of it’s claims to truth must be treated with the same skepticism and rigorous investigation as any published work. For me the argument “Because the Bible says so!” holds as much weight as “Because the Quran/Bhagavad Gita/The Egyptian Book of the Dead/Rig Veda/Encyclopedia Galactica says so” So, yes, I know exactly what the Bible says, but what I don’t see is why that should be given any more weight than what a particular Zen Koan says.

So, you’re looking for proof. To me, it is everywhere I turn, especially in medicine. The complexity of the body is staggering. On any level, the complexity is so unbelievable that I can no longer fathom believing in a chance occurrence of these things coming together except that people are typical very shallow in their thinking, are relatively uneducated in science/biology/medicine, and are being constantly bombarded by deception, especially through today’s media (or mediums). Many simply can no longer think on their own and will have a hard time getting higher up than that fryer at the fast food place. Very sad but true. From a health and mental state point of view, the fast food industry is creating the very clones it needs to work their stores.

So, I come at this topic not as one having blind faith but from someone who has looked at this logically and scientifically and find that, as I first posted, it is more LOGICAL to believe in a Creator. All of this order arising from chaos on its own is so phenonemally improbable that the word “impossible” does apply no matter how many zeros you put at the end of the allotted number of years.

Again, I cannot accept the “Because we don’t understand it, it must be God” argument. It is the argument from ignorance. There are many questions about the universe that we don’t yet know the answer to. I’m not content with looking around, saying “That’s too hard to understand” and taking the magical explanation that I was given as a child. Improbable is very different than impossible.

-The end of that message had a reference to CS Lewis and some questions about statistics that neither of us had the answer to.  After a short introduction, he continued in a second message. Some of the questions he asked were of a personal nature, and may be cut out of this public response.

Do you want to tell me why you left the ministry? What church?

There were a lot of reasons why I left. To clarify, I wasn’t a pastor. I was technically “Lay Ministry”. I was the Program Director at Camp Oceanwood. A wonderful Christian Camp owned and operated by The American Baptist Churches of Massachusetts. I had some of the best times of my life there, and still strongly recommend it to anyone looking for a safe, loving enviorment to work at or visit.

That being said, I left for the following reasons: 1) Due to the camp’s financial difficulties, it was obvious that positions were going to be cut. “Get out before you’re forced out” is pretty good advice. 2) It was really bothering me that I had never finished college, and MA had more opportunities than ME in that respect. 3) My wife is very close to her family and missed them. 4) At the time I was getting more and more liberal, while the ministry at the camp was becoming more and more conservative. I could no longer support the direction camp was taking, and as a result, I could no longer give the effort and attention to the ministry my co-workers and guests deserved.

Why is it that people think that an understanding of science somehow disproves the existence of God?

An understanding of science doesn’t necessarily disprove God, but the central tools of science: (free inquiry, dependence on evidence, logical examination of phenomena, etc. ) to tend to lead one to question most, if not all of the presuppositions of traditional religion.

As a doctor, through scientific study, I understand how the body works (at least until we start talking about how it REALLY works, like RNA, DNA and how chains of amino acids can boss cells around) but it makes me believe MORE in God, not less.

I don’t pretend to be a biochemist either, but I do think that a very solid understanding of the topic is central to having a rational, meaningful discussion of the topic.

The complexity is astounding and the chances of these things happening on their own are so astronomical that it is not really worth discussing anymore. (Then why bring it up?)

Just the 191 amino acids in growth hormone coming together in the sequence required to make it work is enough to stagger the imagination. And if one is out of place, it doesn’t work. What are the odds of 191 amino acids doing this? Better yet, what tells it to work when it does work? How do 191 amino acids linked together tell cells to grow and repair? Yes, they have a certain energy in that sequence but why only when put together in that sequence. And how does that energy work? What really is energy? What keeps the protons and neutrons in motion? Is it just a quark? LOL

The scientific explanations of things are very superficial when it comes right down to it. There is a whole ‘nother level of thinking and questions to be answered. The anatomical explanation for sight, for instance, is so superficial but amazes the unlearned- how light enters the eye, goes through the lens, hits the retina, travels along the optic nerve, and goes to that area of the brain that registers sight. “Wow!” BUT, there is a depth of questions to which most never go.

How does sight REALLY work? Have you ever held a brain in your hand? I have many times. We think we know how neurological transmission works but for an eye to register the detail, the depth of field, the colors, etc and be able to transmit that image accurately along a nerve and into that gray-tan blob of goo and have us see the beautiful detail of the landscape, painting, etc, is AMAZING! And yet, we take it all for granted.

And we casually believe that this all came from nothing millions and millions of years ago as if a huge numbers of zeros behind that number of years will change the fact that NOTHING COMES FROM NOTHING. That is absolute deceptions and comes very close to insane.

Again, I cannot disagree more strongly. You keep repeating the same argument, merely changing the details: “It’s hard to understand, it’s incredibly improbable, so it must be God.” As I said before, I don’t know much biochemistry, but I’m a physics geek from wayyyyy back. We used to live in a geocentric universe. Everything in the universe supposedly revolved around the Earth. The Bible said it, we believed it that settled it! Over time, movements of the planets were observed that couldn’t be explained by the Biblical account of the universe. Astronomers and astrologers bent over backwards to come up with explanations that would fit the Bible as well as the evidence that was plainly visible. They could have said, “Well, it’s too difficult to understand, and the Bible already has the answers, so that’s good enough for me.”

Thankfully, that’s not what happened. Galileo came around and said: “Nope, the only way to explain this craziness is if the Sun’s the center of the solar system” Later Newton came around and said, “Nope, it’s not angels pushing the planets that move them around, it’s a universal attractive force” Even later Einstein came around and said, “Sort of, it’s not necessarily a force, but an aftereffect of the geometry of spacetime being effected by mass” and so on. These people were considered “insane” and heretics and dangers to the religious beliefs of their day. Are you honestly suggesting that the church was right to excommunicate and eventually execute Galileo? Even they (eventually) apologized for that.

Why is it that modern Christians get to pick and choose what parts of the Scientific Revolution they want to accept? The bible makes some pretty clear statements about the earth’s place in the universe (dead center) It’s shape (flat, with a dome-like firmament above it) and the cause of disease (sin and demonic possesion). Why is it that mainstream Christians laugh off those solid biblical doctrines as superstition, but go out of their minds when it’s suggested that evolution is the best explanation we have to fit the evidence that we’ve collected?

And don’t even say it’s not the same. It’s exactly the same. Rational inquiry has produced an explanation that is at odds with established religious dogma. Astronomy or Biology, it’s the same thing, different century.

Not to be cute or condemning, but I find it interesting that you left the ministry to make a life of “deception” by doing magic. It ‘s just an observation, not an accusation. Slight of hand can be entertaining. It can be cute and fun. But do you then take that skill and tell people that things are not what they seem and thus religion is a fairytale, like others on the challenge purport? Why not turn that around and say that people are easily deceived and as a result, the truth of GOD evades them? That is exactly what happens. It is our mortal enemies that are the true magicians. Why do many magicians have that almost satanic air about them? Many look dark and mysterious and some have even adopted true “left-hand path” lifestyles. Deception, not truth. Where is the true merit in that?

Well, it wasn’t cute, but it certainly was condemning. So far you’ve called me insane, implied that I was superficial and now I’m satanic because I’m into magic. Not cool man, not cool. There are literally tens of thousands, if not millions of Christian Magicians worldwide who would be seriously offended by the statement you just made. Furthermore, I take as much offense at that “left-hand path” crack as you would to me saying “All doctors are only in it for the money and treat their patients as whiny talking wallets” An obviously untrue statement based on a caricature of a few atypical examples. Again: Not cool.

Magic is no more deceptive of an art than acting. In fact in one of the most respected quotes on the topic, Robert-Houdin said: “A magician is an actor playing the part of a magician” That being said, I think that actors and magicians, have a perspective on belief and reality that bears closer examination. The study of my art has led me to question many claims of paranormal and supernatural powers. I know what’s possible through trickery. So when I see someone talk to the dead or bend spoons, I have a very different reaction to someone without my background. I understand the level of proof that’s necessary to show that these supposed powers are real.

(The next section was unnecessarily flattering to me and insulting to other non-theists, so it’s been cut.)

Keep looking for answers. You’ll see that this journey will take you back to God and He will welcome you with open arms as if it never happened. You’ll ultimately be stronger for it having been through the fire. And there will be a “fire” in your future (and I don’t mean hell)… a time that will rock your foundation and make you question everything you believe. Not trying to be scary here. After 54 years and having looked death SQUARE in the eyes, I just know how like works. Your time will come. Thank God He WILL be there for you.

I have also been close to death, (near-drownings, working with Joe on a regular basis, simply being a Blinn, etc) So if that is supposed to give your feelings on the topic authority, then I should have just as much authority. So at this point I have to say that I think you’re wrong. But if you are right and the God you believe in is going to be there for me, then in his infinite mercy and love I will be tortured for all eternity for the crime of using the curiosity and rationality that he gifted me with.

I do know that there are other options. Perhaps the deists were right, or the more liberal christians are right, or the Buddists or other religious faiths are right. The fact that I do not accept one particular incarnation of god does not necessarily mean that atheism is my only option. That would make me just as guilty of false dicotomy as I accused Boanerges316 of being.

If you really want to know what I believe, well I’m not entirely sure about everything. But one thing I do know: If the God of the Evangelical Christian’s Bible is real then he is a monster and a liar, and I would not worship him out of either fear or love.

(p.s. The rest of the e-mail dealt with the “Holy Spirit Blasphemy = Instant Hell” debate and the future state/non-state of my soul. These are all topics that have either a) been covered to my satisfaction in this blog or b) are based entirely in a modern evangelical interpretation of the Bible and as such are boring me. 😉

If you want to hear more, comment. kthxbye!

Thinking Thursday…

I ran into an old friend at the local video store a few day ago, and our conversation got me thinking. As most of you know, I no longer consider myself religious or even theistic. I’ve pretty much embraced the naturalistic world-view and in a lot of ways, I’ve never been happier. I’m beginning to reclaim responsibility for my own actions and choices, and I no longer have to wonder about WWJD. The only entities I have to answer to are my wife and daughter and myself. It’s pretty groovy.

Not everything is so rosy though. The community I based a good third of my life on is pretty much closed to me now. Yes, there are a few shining examples of acceptance and true friendship, (thank you so much, you know who you are!), but realistically, I can’t go back to the place I called “home” for so long. Sure, I can go there physically, and there are even some who would still welcome me, but it would be awkward and difficult to say the least. Better to just let that part of my life go.

That’s the problem though. I’ve invested so much of my life and energy in that place. I never finished college, never got a degree, never became a teacher or scientist, never followed those intellectual dreams. I thought that there was a god who had a plan for my life, and that plan was for me to be a lay-minister, sharing god’s word at a summer camp. Maybe it was just an excuse, a way for me to avoid taking on real challenges, but I like to think that I had the best of intentions.

Most people assume that one de-converts from christianity (or religion in general) because of anger or bitterness. “I got hurt/betrayed by god/believers so I’m leaving those bastards!” That can be true for some, but for me, there’s no bitterness about god or other believers. Most of them are people who realy want to do the right thing. My disbelief is the end result of many years of questioning and thinking, and following the truth no matter where she be. If I’m bitter at all, it’s because I can’t shake the feeling that it was all for nothing. My education and training prepared me to be a Director/Program Director of a religious camp. I spent some of the best years of my life thinking up ways to proselytize and convert kids into a religion that I no longer believe in. Not only did I waste my own time, I spent it working against the very things I cherish now.

It’s so hard not to feel that I’ve wasted my life.

So what now?